literature

The Painful Truth Chp.7

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           Bill and I took things slow. Although all the feelings were there, we were still nervous. This was a new experience for the both of us; not just being with another guy, but acting more like a couple than like brothers. We kept it a secret from Georg and Gustav. We had to be comfortable with ourselves before telling anyone else. We weren’t sure how they would react, ours wasn’t an everyday situation, it was complicated to say the least.

        “Tommy, you’re always so warm.” Bill whispered as he pulled me closer. Sleeping in my room hadn’t felt comfortable after being with Bill for so long, so I spent every night with him. “I love how your skin feels, so soft and warm.” Bill cooed as he ran his finger lightly up and down my arm. “I love how you lips feel.” I said quietly. Bill looked at me and smiled. “Really?” he asked. I raised my eyebrow playfully and smiled. “Do you like how they feel here?” Bill asked as he placed a kiss on the palm of my hand. “Yes.” I said taking a deep breath. “And here?” Bill kissed my upper arm. I nodded. “Here?” He giggled kissing my collar bone. “Uhnn...” I moaned quietly. “What about here?” He kissed his way up my neck, adding another “and here?” after each one. When he finally reached my lips I pulled him close, and at long last had his lips where I wanted them. Not that I hadn’t wanted them anywhere else. I moaned softly as Bill glided his tongue over my bottom lip and teased my piercing. I clutched his hair in my hands and he laughed as he pulled away. “Are you having fun?” he chuckled. “I will be once you come back.” I moaned. “Ask me nicely.” Bill teased. “Please Billy come here.” I said angelically. “Come here and do what?” Bill asked. I never knew Bill could be so cheeky. “Kiss me.” I said blushing as the words left my lips. He pressed his mouth to mine and I could feel the steel of his barbell as he dragged it across my tongue.

          The phone started to ring in the kitchen. “Shit.” Bill sighed as he slid off me and went to answer it. As I waited for Bill to come back I thought about our situation, how much happier we both were, but my mind drifted back to the time when Bill was moping around. I wondered how long Bill had actually been feeling the way he had. How many times had I overlooked any kind of hint he had given me? Suddenly I realised that I had more questions to ask him. I didn’t want to break the mood, but if I didn’t do it now I might forget. “Damn telemarketers...” Bill sighed as he slid back into the bed and pulled my arm around his shoulder. “Where were we?” he asked playfully leaning in to kiss me. I pulled back and smiled half-heartedly. Bill cocked his head. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

         “Oh nothing, nothing......It’s just, I still have a few more things that I want to ask you.” I said. Bill sighed heavily and pulled away from me. He said nothing for several minutes. My spirit dropped from knowing that I had made him angry. I hated when the gleam in Bill’s eyes faded. Eventually he sighed again and looked into my eyes. He said nothing, he only raised his eyebrows. I took it as if he was ready for my questions. “Em....How long had you been feeling...y’know... the way you were feeling, for me?” I asked. It was the most badly phrased question I could have asked, but I hoped Bill could understand. Bill shifted awkwardly and made to speak but decided against it. I opened my mouth, to rephrase the question but Bill held up his hand halting my attempt. “Do you remember the day you found me in the park under the Oak tree?” he said softly. Did I remember that day? How could I ever forget? We were fifteen and Bill had been walking through the park while I was with some girl, making out behind some bushes. After about an hour, I was wondering where he had gone to because he usually came to pester me after about ten minutes when he got bored of waiting around. I left whoever it was I was with to search for him. I found him huddled under a tree covered in bruises and cuts, with a split lip and a bloody nose. He had been beaten up by a group of guys from school, but never told me why. I had tried so hard to get any information he had out of him but I never could.

         “Yes I remember.” I said coldly clenching my fists as I pictured how helpless Bill was that day. “Well, you don’t know the whole story.” Bill said. “I was walking through the park when I overheard a group of guys talking about you. I hid behind the tree and listened to what they were saying. They were saying that the only reason you got so many girls was because you were too scared to admit that you were gay. But they didn’t put it like that. ‘Just doin it to pretend he’s not a fag,’ is how they put it.”  I stared at Bill with my mouth open.  I couldn’t believe what he was saying. I made to speak but Bill shook his head. He wasn’t finished.

        “Anyway, I was so angry when I heard them. I came out from behind the tree and...er...expressed my anger. Not a great idea on my part. There were four of them and one of me. ‘Awww it’s the fags brother’ the said, ‘looks like being queer runs in the family’. They jumped me after that, and well I’ll spare you the details, but when they had finished the just left me there.”  I just stared at Bill my eyes wide, my fists clenched tightly. I wrapped my arms around Bill and pulled him close. “No, not yet.” he said pulling away.

         “Then after what seemed like forever, I could hear you calling my name. When you found me, I remember you running to me. You wrapped your arms around me and rocked me gently, consoling me, swearing to kill whoever it was that had hurt me. Then you said something that stuck with me ever since, and from that moment I knew that I had fallen in love with you, and that I could never change how I felt. Do you remember what you said?”

          I ran my hand through my hair. I thought hard, trying to remember the words that had made such an impact on Bill. I shook my head in disappointment. I couldn’t remember. Bill smiled sadly. “Why would you, it wasn’t anything major. You said ‘I will never let anything happen to you again, wherever you go, I will be there, even when I’m not, I’ll protect you.’ I knew that you only said it because you felt guilty about what had happened, but it didn’t matter. That sentence fuelled my feelings and that was the exact day, and I can say with all my being, that I gave my heart to you, even though you didn’t know it.” Bill finished the story in a whisper. I said nothing. There was nothing to say. I had asked my question and I had gotten an answer. I didn’t know what to do. It felt slightly awkward sitting with Bill after the story he had told. I played with my nails until Bill turned and looked at me. “Do you still mean it?” he asked quietly. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his shoulder pulling him close so that he was lying on my chest. I stroked his hair and placed light kisses on his forehead. “Yes, I do coz I have to be with you wherever you go.” I said. Bill looked at me confused. “Why?” he asked. I chuckled softly and placed my hand on his heart. “Because you own my heart, and you take it wherever you go, so I have no choice but to follow.”

          Bill smiled and I could see his eyes become shiny as a lone tear slipped down his cheek. A tear of happiness and, at last, acceptance. He buried his head into my chest and I continued to stroke his hair.
OH MY GOD!! Its an update!! I nearly forgot what an update was at this stage!! Sorry its been so long, but good news is i have like four more chapters of this written so they will be put up real soon!! XD

I hope you haven't all forgotten bout me/it!! haha!! well hope you enjoy it!

Comment!! Pwetty pwease!! XD
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